Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: A Commission from Misaki Ayuzawa234. Due to yet another crisis caused by Timmy, the fairies are forced to give Penelope Lang a Fairy of her own. Will she use this gift to turn a new leaf and become a hero? The answer may surprise you!
1. Chapter 1

**Penelope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

**AN: This story was commissioned by Misaki Ayuzawa234**

...

Fairy World, a pristine land of magic and wonder...not today. Today, it was a flaming wreck. All the surviving fairies were all congregating/recovering at city hall.

Jorgon Von Strangle was presiding over the meeting, naturally. "Right, so long story short: In order to cover costs to repair fairy world from the latest 'Turner incident'...we need to take on extra workloads."

Everyone groaned-

"Why hasn't that kid lost his fairies yet?!"

"It's been ten years since he got them for crying out loud!"

"When will this trainwreck of a franchise- by which I mean franchising the boy with fairies -end!?"

"ENOUGH!" Shouted Jorgon, "We'll discuss Turners fate later! Right now, prepare for your secondary job assignments!"

He points to one side of the room and in order shouted:

"Quadrant Q Fairies, you'll be doing Pixie world internships, Sesame Bun Street Fairies you'll be picking up litter on the sulfur mines of Centari 5, Baltic Avenue Fairies your on Blackhole babysitting duty."

"Wait, don't we get a say in-

**ZAP!**

Jorgon zaps most of the fairies away to their new assignment's, he then turns back to the pamphlets, "Right, what's next?" Jorgon rolls his eyes, "Right, writings on the wall. We have to auction one of you to a spoiled rich brat."

Everyone groans, but quickly put's their finger on their nose to signify they're 'not it'.

Suddenly in that back, Big Daddy emerges from the restroom. "Oy, vey! That's the last time I eat cannolis from a gas station. So what did I miss?" He then sees everyone looking at him with their finger to their nose.

Big daddy groaned, "Aw, nuts!"

Jorgon nods, "Right, that's settled." He looks to the meetings agenda and smirks evilly. "Now to decide Turner's punishment..."

...later...

Timmy Turner wakes up to find himself naked on an alien world, "Oh, boy...Well nothing a wish can't solve! Wanda! Cosmo! I wish I was home!

**POOF!**

He then receives a notification that his fairy privileges have been revoked until further notice, Timmy gulps as he hears howls in the distance...

...even later...

Penelope yawned as she fiddled on her phone, she was so bored...

Suddenly her parents came in with a box, "Hello, sweetie! Here's a fairy Godparent we won in a 50-way online bidding war. Apparently they can grant wishes...or something. Whatever it is, This service came highly recommended by the Buxaplentie's! Now, for legal reasons me and your father need to have our memory erased of you having this and you can't ever tell us or anyone about it. Your Godparent will explain the rest, have fun sweetie!" They walk out of the room.

Penelope looks at the box, shrugs. "Eh, don't have anything else to do. Might be worth a chuckle." She opens the box and out pops big daddy. Who haphazardly introduces himself.

"Bada-bing-bada-boom. I'm your fairy godparent, or whatever. Don't ever ask questions about my business capeesh?"

Penelope laughs at him, "What are you supposed to be? A mutant Butterfly?"

Big Daddy groans, "great, I got myself a comedian here." He then turns to her. "Look lady, you don't like me and I don't like you. Now my daughter- bless her heart -would try to be 'patient and 'understanding and try to improve you with the power of friendship or some other garbage like that."

"What is she, nuts?" Asked Penelope.

Big Daddy groans, "For the record, I know I should pop you for saying that...but honestly, I wonder that myself. A psychiatrist I talked to says she might have a Nightingale complex or whatever...sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo to me, but it's the only rational explanation I can find for why she married that moron. Anyway, that ain't how I do things. I'm a businessman, so I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse."

Penelope rolls her eyes, "Oh, this should be good." "Ignoring that." Said Big Daddy flatly as he pulls out a mystically-binding contract. "Basically, you use your first wish to do any favor I ask of you. In exchange I call in a favor that one of the Fairy high council owes me. I give you a nice rule free, irreversible bad-luck wammy to put on your worse enemy like momma used to do. Perhaps the Red head what disrespects you all the time?" He suggests mischievously.

"Bad luck for Betty? Sign me up!" Shouts Penelope excited as she dose just that. Big daddy smirks, "I thought you might agree...they ALWAYS agree." He then releases the curse he'd stored on his wand.

"Okay, so what's this favor? All you can eat Ravioli? A Tower of pisa that isn't terrible?" She mocks.

Big Daddy just smirks; "My favor is for you to wish you become as nice a girl as my daughter Wanda, who also doesn't stick her nose in my business or nothing like that, capeesh?"

Penelope gaps at him in horror. "What? NO WAY! Like I'd ever- I WISH TO BECOME AS NICE AS WANDA, EXCEPT I DON'T STICK MY NOSE IN MY GODFATHERS BUSINESS OR NOTHING LIKE THAT!" Penelope is horrified as the magic of the contract forces her to say the wish out loud!

"Bada-bing-Bada-boom!" Shouts Big daddy as he waves his wand.

**POOF!**

And just like that...Penelope's heart of coal was turned to gold...well Gold-ish mixed with fiery latino spices! Penelope's eye's widen, the world was suddenly so much different to her now...

"Oh, my. What have I done?! I've been so rotten to everyone! Well no longer! I promise to be nicer to everyone from this day forth! Starting, now. I wish that Betty's curse-

"Hold it, it's irreversible remember? So ForgetAboutIt! Besides, I got business to attend to-

"Wait, but this is more impor- Suddenly, the magic of the contract freezes her. "Like, I said. Don't stick your nose in my business! See yah later princess!" And like that, he was gone!

...

Big daddy appears before a tied up and gagged, Fairy council member. "Your debt is paid, now vamoose!"

...

"Oh, dear...what am I to do? I can't just tell Betty what happened, that's against 'Da Rules'. And I can't just call Betty and give her a vague warning, after all I've done for her, there's no way she'd trust me." Penelope sighed, "I'll just have to wait till tomorrow and see what I can do to help Betty through this difficult time...shirley that will be okay...I mean, after all...how much trouble could she get in in one evening?"

...

**MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!**

Screamed Betty as another one of her mother's 'cost-cutting ideas' literally went up in flames...along with Betty's hair...her dress...the kitchen...and the house...

Jimmy Barrett glared at his wife as their house burned down, "Sweetie, I know I usually let you do as you will...but I'm banning you from taking care of the budget from now on."

Beatrixo Barrett sighed as they hosed down their still screaming daughter, "Yeah, that's fair..."

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

_"Why did it have to be picture day?" _Thinks a stressed out Betty as she wears a cap to hide her now completely BALD head, she goes through the school hallway and hopes no one notices-

"What's with the cap Betty? Ashamed to show your face for picture day!?" mocked Megan and Sarah.

Betty groaned, "And it BEGINS." She says out loud in a resigned way-

"Now you leave Betty Alone!" Shouted a new yet familiar voice

Everyone's jaws fell to the ground, Peneople LANG defending BETTY?

Panelope continues to chastise her two stunned 'cronies', "Seriously, lay off Betty! And another thing- Then she notices everyone staring at her, "What?"

"PENELOPE IS BEING NICE?!"

"TO BETTY OF ALL PEOPLE!?"

"IT'S THE SIGH OF THE APOCALYPSE!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Penelope groans as people jump out the WINDOWS to get to safety, "Come on! Is it really that unbelievable?" She shrugs, "Fine, whatever. Betty, I need to- ANNND she's gone too." Penelope sighed, "Okay, this might be harder then I thought..."

...

A confused Betty was washing her face in the bathroom, "What just- Was Penelope being...just...WHAT?!"

Suddenly her galactic Guardian communicator beeped, "GREAT! Saved by the bell! I'll figure this out later!" She runs to a stall so no one can see her teleport away in a flash of light...and thus no one also didn't see a familiar yellow shirt and green skirt fall to the ground...

...

"Atomic Betty, reporting for duty" Shouted Betty with a salute!

To her surprise, her friends acted very weird.

Sparky turned as red as a tomato and screamed, "Not looking! Didn't see anything!" While averting his eyes.

X-5 began to spark and steam and he ordered his audio receptor's to shut down.

Admiral DeGill just gaped flabbergasted, "Atomic Betty! I know it's causal Friday! But this is unacceptable behavior for a guardian!" He exclaimed.

Betty looked at them weird, "What are you talking about? I-

And then she saw it- "I'M NAKED!" She screamed mortified.

...

Penelope searched all around the school for Betty, "Where did she go? Who knows what damage that curse could cause!" She entered the girls bathroom and tried to calm herself, "Calm down Penelope, your in a high school for crying out loud! How bad could anything happening to betty really be?" And then she saw Betty's discarded clothes...

Penelope decided to look for Betty FASTER...

...

"I just don't understand it...one or two safeguard succumbing to a glitch I could understand...but 158!? At the same time!? The odds of such a malfunction happening is astronomical!"

Apparently the transformation sequence for Betty's clothes went haywire, worse Sparky just did laundry so they had no spares.

"Wait, what am I supposed to do then?" Asked a flustered Betty from behind her captains chair.

The admiral looked uncomfortable, "Maximus is stealing gold across the galaxy for an unknown no doubt nefarious purpose...I hate to ask this of you Betty...but for the sake of the Galaxy...will you continue on?"

Betty takes a deep breath, gets out from behind the chair...sits on..."X-5...full speed ahead and track all possible sightings of Maximus's forces." She instructed.

Both X-5 and Sparky averted their eyes while saluting and obeying.

Gil also salutes, "Your an inspiration to us all Atomic Betty, Good luck!" His screen goes dark...

"Wait, are you BALD too?!" Exclaims Sparky suddenly...then withers under Betty's glare.

...

An alert brings them to the Goldmines of Abraxus 4, they land near the problem area and Betty...Betty prepares herself.

"Uh...Captain? It's not too late...I could send you home-"No, the fate of the galaxy is at stake! I...I'll manage." She takes a deep breath as she streaks out of the safety of the ship with X-5 and sparky providing as much (literal) cover as possible.

**FLASH!**

"Whoa! Is that atomic Betty!?"

**FLASH!**

"She's gone crazy!"

**FLASH!**

"Crazy, nothing! She's gone wild!"

**FLASH!**

What are those weird lumps on her chest?

**FLASH!**

IS SHE BALD TOO!?

**FLASH!**

Betty was close to sobbing, "Of all the places...why did the 'future tabloid photographers of the galaxy' have to have their convention HERE?!" Well, at least now she'd have some bad guys to blow off this anger on.

She kicks open the door...to reveal all of Maximus's robots defeated by a new guardian with big, golden hair?!

His cocky smile turns to confusion and embarrassment when he sees Betty.

"Whoa! Look Lady I admire the...'sentiment' that your going for. And Atomic Roger ALWAYS has time for his groupies-

"GROUPIE!?" Screamed Betty mortified.

-But my lawyer insists I stay far away from naked females, liability issues you understand?" Says Roger as he quickly, awkwardly avoids both looking and being near Betty and runs off. "But here!" Tosses her a card. "The number for my hairstylist! You need to call her right away!(gestures to her bald head) Mention me and you'll get 15% off on shampoo!"

He quickly activates his rockets and flies off, the force knocks Betty over and slams her into the wall...just in time for the photographers to get a new roll of film...

"...I hate today..." Moaned Betty...

...

Penelope...looked at a broken, beaten, naked and bald Betty on an alien planet through a mystic globe?

"What the what!?" Exclaims a completely stunned Penelope...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Penelope Lang: Galactic hero? 3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

...III...

Let's roll back the clock a bit, give or take five minutes ago...Penelope was frantically searching for an apparently naked Betty before she humiliated herself...

But she couldn't find hide nor hair of her! Penelope's mind raced, _"Dang it, where is she? GAH! She could be hiding anywhere! And I can't search everywhere! The school is huge! And it's only a matter of time before an irate teacher drags me to my next class! What do I do I'm just an average- wealthy -girl who...has a Fairy God parent!" _She exclaimed to herself.

She quickly summons him-

**POOF!**

"Right, buddy. It's time you paid up. Before something happens to your nice, cozy store!" Shouts Big Daddy to a cowering shopkeeper he was currently shaking back and forth. Not yet noticing he was no longer in Fairy world

Penelope's eye's widen, "What in the- What are you doing!?"

Big Daddy's eye's widen, "Uh- Deal! We had a deal! You can't ask about my Business!" He says quickly.

Penelope slaps her forehead, "Oh, for the love of- FINE! But you still have to help me with this!"

"Right, of course! Forgetaboutit!" Says Big Daddy quickly, He whispers to the other Fairy. "We'll finish this later..." He says sinisterly as the panicky fairy poofs away.

"I wish I knew where Betty is!" Says Penelope quickly. Big Daddy smiles, "I'll do you one better- he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a weird snowglobe -this is special oracle sphere that once belonged to...ah, er FORMER 'acquaintance', that...don't need it no more. So you can have it! Just squeeze it while thinking about what or who you want to see...and you'll see it capeesh?"

Penelope nodded and did just that...and saw a naked Betty in space surrounded by aliens!? "What the what!?" She exclaimed baffled, what was she even looking at here?!

...

Meanwhile, Betty's ship zoomed in to save the solid gold Yacht of the Sultan of Schimtar-

**CRASH!**

...or at least...that was the plan before a freak glitch in the guidance system caused her ship to crash into the Yacht-

**BOOM!**

-Which caused both ships to explode-

**GAH!**

**CRASH!**

-Causing a flaming Betty to fly through the air and crash into a news camera...right into the Labia...

Betty was on the ground, clutching her groin, sobbing in pain...as people took pictures!

...

After asking what was happening, Big Daddy Explained that Betty must be secretly a Galactic Guardian, and quickly explained what that entailed...

Naturally, this bowled Penelope over. "Betty...a space hero? But shirley someone would've..." She trails off as she begins to think of it...

...many days ago...

"Nothing to see here! Move along! Just my science experiment!" Shouts Betty as sh moved people away from the glowing space rocks that had just crashed through the ceiling...

...many more days ago...

"Wow! What WON'T companies do to get their products noticed, am I right?" Asked Betty nervously as a bunch of 'actors' 'dressed' as aliens danced in the middle of the street...

...even earlier...

"Movie! I'm making a movie!" Shouted Betty as she fought a slime monster in the middle of Downtown dressed as a space hero...

...

"Okay, if nothing else. That last one should have been obvious...wow...I live in a town of idiots...ME included..." She realized Depressed.

Big daddy gives her sympathetic hand on the shoulder, "Hey, the important thing...is that you admit it. That is the first step after all." He replied with a sardonic chuckle.

Before Penelope can give an annoyed response, a humiliated and battered Betty boards a spare spaceship and goes to the gold repository of Planet Nox...

Where Atomic Roger is beating up the gold hunting robots. However a stray bolt hits Betty's ship, a one-in-a-million shot that causes it to crash into the repository, causing the automatic gold teleporter/sorter-

**ZAP!**

Maximus blinks as an avalanche of gold appears in his room, "Well...that happened."

"Uh, Becky? You do remember that we were supposed to SAVE the gold? NOT lose it?" Points out Atomic Roger in a confused yet irritatingly condescending way. Betty couldn't answer, she was too busy groaning in pain from the crash...and the large amount of Gold that collapsed on her...

...

"Alright, enough is enough! Poor Betty is getting pummeled! I wish that Betty was home and safe!"

Big Daddy raises his wand...and then it makes a weird fart noise and deflates? "What was that? Why hasn't my wish worked?" Asked Penelope confused.

"Hold your horses, let me check the rules." he poofs up the rule book. "Wait...there are rules?" Asked Penelope surprised.

Big Daddy rolled his eye's, "Oh, no! Of course were just going to give a bunch of brats reality warping entities with no consequences or restraints- OF course there's rules! What's a matter with you!?" He snarks annoyed.

Penelope rolls her eye's, "Fine, whatever! So went wrong?"

Turns out, many years back. A war with the anti-Faries went so bad, the faeries were forced to reveal their existence to the galactic guardians and ask their help. This turned the tide in their favor. After the war the galactic guardians agreed to keep Faries secret in exchange for all Guardians present and future to be made immune to fairy magic...apparently this meant good things as well as bad(Curses, weren't really fairy magic, so that didn't count. Which is why it worked on Betty.).

Before Penelope could respond to that...the Crystal shows a determined Betty limping after a robot making off with some more gold...only for it to release a tentacle monster from a nearby building?!

"What- WHO PUTS A TENTACLE MONSTER IN A RANDOM IN THE MIDDLE OF A CITY!?" Demands Penelope annoyed, badly injured and naked, Betty could only watch helplessly as the Tentacle monster grabbed her-

"OKAY! THAT'S IT! WERE ENDING THIS I WISH FOR SOMETHING! ANYTHING! THAT COULD GET BETTY AWAY FROM THERE!"

"No complains from me!" Shouts an equally panicky Big Daddy as he complies, he watched too many anime in his youth to not see where this was going. And he'd be fracked if he'd let a girl get that on his watch!

He zaps the remains of the gold teleporter to reactivate and teleport Betty back to earth(apparently, as long as it was only indirectly affected by fairy magic, it could work)...unfortunately, it teleported Betty into he gym just as pictures were taken.

Everyone laughed at Betty as her naked picture was taken-

ENOUGH! YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! LEAVE BETTY ALONE!

Seeing Penelope being nice again, naturally made everyone panic. Penelope just rolled her eyes and made sure Betty was okay.

Betty narrowed her eye's, "What's the deal here Penelope? Why are you being so nice to me?"

Penelope sighed, "Look Betty...I don't blame you for not trusting me. After all the horrible things I've done to you...I wouldn't trust me. But recently, I took a good long look at myself...and I didn't like what I saw one bit. I'd...I'd honestly rather be more like you. Strong, compassionate, brave and loyal. So...can we just...start over? Just...MAYBE...TRY to be friends?"

Betty just looks at her in disbelief... "Wow...Penelope...that's...I don't know what to say..."

Penelope smiles as she helps Betty get to the nurse, threatens to sue the camera lady if she didn't retake Betty's picture, and offers to buy Betty new clothes and lunch.

Betty smiles, "Thanks Penelope...I'm glad this day is over, and a bright, better day is waiting!"

Penelope chuckles nervously as she sees curse energy flutter around Betty, "Yeah...I'm sure...I can help make that happen i nothing else." She says while crossing her fingers behind her back...

...

Meanwhile, Roger is exposed as the fraud he is when he tries to steal gold while Maximus destroys Argo 7...Maximus then successfully completes his golden statue!

Maximus gazes at the statue in disbelief.

"I...won?" He asks amazed.

"You...actually won!?" Exclaimed Evil Minimus shocked.

"HOORAY!" Exclaims Good Minimus.

Maximus is so beside himself with joy he gives Minimus the week off and a raise(he would later come to his senses and take back the raise...but Minimus enjoyed the week off too much to care)

Maximus curls up under the shade of his golden statue, "Call me crazy...but I have a good feeling about the next confrontation with Atomic Betty..." He laughs manically...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

...III...

The last few weeks had not been kind to Betty. It seemed like everything that could go wrong DID go wrong for her! First, the fiasco on Nurumba 6...

...

**RIP!**

"Oh, come on!" Shouted Betty annoyed as the thick foliage ripped off another uniform, leaving her naked...again.

...later...

And then when she attempted 'stealth and subterfuge'-

**CRUNCH!**

The tree they hide behind fell on top of them-

**CHOMP!**

The 'log' they hide behind in the river was actually a swamp monster

**chomp!**

****chomp!****

**chomp!**

****chomp!****

The bush she tried to sneak around in was full of carnivorous space Weevils!

**HEY THIS ISN'T GUARDIANS QUARTERLY! THIS IS SENTINELS MONTHLY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL HERE!?**

Shouted the guards at X5(who to his horror, realized he brought the wrong case) before shooting at him...

...later...

Maximus snarled, "Well, if it isn't atomic Be-NAKED!?" He shouts out that last bit flustered. Betty groaned, "Can we not make a big deal of this and just fight?" She stated embarrassed.

Good Minimus whispered to Maximus. "Uh, sir? The blood Monks are reluctant to fight a naked Girl...lest they get a...'reputation', but the robots are fine!"

A clearly VERY uncomfortable Maximus averted his eyes but nodded, "Riiight, do that...Anyhow, Betty I think I'll skip our banter and just leave with the vial, ciao!"

X5, tries to use a magnet to retrieve the vial, but he's too damaged from the beating he received from the guards and ends up smashing the vial on the planet...causing it to break out in crazy amounts of flora. The stress of the roots is too much, which causes the planet to shatter, the shattered bits land on other planets, which cause them to burst with fauna and flora...and the cycle repeats...

Maximus cackles, "Good heavens! This is even better then my actual plan! Thank you Betty!" He mocks as he goes off on his jetpack while Betty sobs...

She returns home to find the garden in ruins! She tried to use a sample of the chemical to regrow it...but apparently the chemical had been mixed with other volatile chemicals during all the confusion! The garden was turned into carnivorous plants! Betty's house was destroyed!...again(5th time this week).

Thankfully, Penelope let her stay at her place until it was fixed(at her expense)...also Percy got eaten...so that was a plus...

Her next several missions were just as terrible...

Not only did Maximus's plan to trick the entire planet of Celebra to eat his mind-control Birthday cake go without a hitch, but she ended up teleporting naked into the middle of the lunch room!

The mission against Chameleon wasn't so bad. True, he ended up with project Zonk in the end when their ship got wrecked(again, 25th time this month) in that asteroid field...but turns out it was just a stupid taco sauce skin lotion, so who cares?

No, what upset Betty about all that was a malfunction with the teleporter(the 178th time this month!) caused the maze of mirrors to collapse onto Noah! Thankfully, he survived...but his clothes were ripped to pieces and he had to streak home...fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it.) Penelope saw what happened and gave him a lift.

Penelope snicked as Betty asked about it, "Don't worry Betty...you didn't miss much...there really wasn't much to see...if you catch my meaning." She teased in a playful way. Despite herself, Betty couldn't help but giggle(she still insisted that Penelope buy Noah Dinner as an apology for telling her that...but honestly, this made Noah only more uncomfortable as the two girls kept looking over to him, whispering, giggling...and making very unflattering gestures toward jellybeans, sesame seeds...and pine needles...)

Despite all the hardship...Betty and Penelope became closer and closer friends...

But still, although her life on earth got(marginally) better...life in the universe got WORSE.

After the planet Colotian was destroyed by Maximums using the Husboards terrible music(Betty tried to make their music better- Penelope was even nice enough to help make her the head of their band -but her keyboard shorted out at the worst possible time! The feedback loop was so intense it destroyed not only planet Colotian but also hundreds of nearby planets as well!), apparently it was the final straw.

Now, she'd been brought before the Galactic Council for a private tribunal. "Admiral, I know I've messed up a lot. But I swear it's not my fault!" Pleaded Betty

"I know." Said Admiral De Gill as he sat with the council. "Please just hear me- Wait, you believe me?" Asked Betty confused.

The Council and De Gill nodded, "Yes we've seen something...'similar' to this before. If our...'suspicions' are correct, then NO none of this has been your fault. But we need an...'expert's' opinion to be sure."

Suddenly, Betty was aware of ANOTHER person in the room. He seemed...human, although most of him was obscured by a black cape so it was hard to tell. One thing was certain though, he was RIPPED.

"Hello puny girl! It is I, Jorgen Von Strangle! Toughest Fai- Er, I mean, toughest esoteric expert in the universe! I'm here to figure out and fix your pathetic problem!"

"Uh...thank you?" Said Betty confused. Jorgen did all sorts of weird tests, he pulled out a strange device shaped like a plastic children's wand. Jorgen watched the light flicker all about.

"Please don't be green." Mumbled Jorgen...right before it glowed green. Jorgen groaned, "Yep, she's cursed." "CURSED!? What do you mean cursed?" Demanded Betty.

The admiral sighed, "I suppose there's no help for it...Betty, we are about to share with you with of the Galactic guardians most closely guarded secrets...but before we do...is there anyone you know who'd want to curse you? Hate you so much to cause you calamity?"

Betty frowned, "Funny you should mention that, if you'd asked me that a month ago I'd have said Penelope-

"Wait, Penelope? Penelope Lang? This girl right here?" Asked Jorgen as he seemingly made a picture of Penelope appear out of thin air. "Uh...yeah, that's her...why?"

Jorgen grumbled something about 'maiming Big Daddy'...then sighed, "Yeah...it was probably her...or at least, she's involved. I can guarantee that."

Betty's eye twitched, her blood boiled: "**PENELOPE!"**

...

Penelope gulped as she watched the scene through her crystal ball, "Wow...I am SOOOOOO, dead." She paled.

Big Daddy was ont he phone, "Cousin Vinnie...call the Lawyers...ALL of them...NOW. There about to earn their paychecks!"

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Betty, was naturally NOT happy to find that her new 'friend' was responsible for her current misfortunes...

"Betty, I know your upset. But I admittedly felt terrible about it...after being wished into a good person! I've been wishing like crazy to help you in your missions."

"You set me on FIRE." Stated an irritated Betty flatly.

"And I KNOW you've been getting hurt, humiliated and losing battles left and right. But in my defense the whole, 'Fairy magic can't work directly on guardians' thing really hindered my options! It's took everything I could think of just so you wouldn't DIE."

"You set me on FIRE." Repeated an irritated Betty flatly.

Okay, I know TECHNICALLY I only care about you because of the wish that made me into a better person, but I AM a better person! And we have fun, don't we?"

"You set me on FIRE." Repeated an irritated Betty flatly.

Jorgen glared at Big Daddy, "Anything you'd like to say for yourself?" He asked annoyed. "HOLD IT! My client doesn't need to say anything, all queries will be directed through me." Said Fairy Mason, Fairy worlds most infamous litigator.

"PSST! Relax kid, this guys the best in the business. Just keep your cool, keep your head down and do what he says and we'll get out of this in no time, _Capiche?" _Whispers Big Daddy reassuringly to Penelope.

...

**GUILTY!**

Shouts the Fairy high council as they declare their verdict. "Wow, I could not have been more wrong. This is on me." Admits Big Daddy surprised, Penelope said nothing she was too busy banging her head against the stand.

"As punishment Big Daddy, you will now have to split your time between both Penelope AND Betty." Said the council, "Dang it." Grumbled Big Daddy, this was going to cut into his personal time even more! Already some of his more ambitious competitors were taking advantage of his time on earth to try to muscle in on his territory. This would just make things worse!

"As for you Penelope...believe it or not, Betty asked we show lenience on you."

Penelope eye's widened in both disbelief and hope, "Betty?" She asked amazed.

"I'm still mad a you..but you are a better person now...and you HAVE tried to make up for it...so...I'm willing to give you a second chance- Penelope let's out a sigh of relief- On one condition." She says evilly.

Penelope gulps, "Although we can't remove the curse- it's magic predates us -we can tweak it so it share's certain aspects of itself with another. Betty picked this one." Explained the fairy council as they waved their wands-

**POOF!**

Penelope's eye's widen, "Wait, what did you do?" Betty smirked as she shows off her bracelet's new feature, "For one things...THIS-

**click**

**POOF!**

And like that, Penelope was naked. "Wha- WHAT!?" Exclaimed Penelope horrified as she covered herself amongst a bunch of wolf-whistles and cat-calls. "This button is tied to the curse and will make you naked whenever i press it, also your clothes are now tied to my curse as well and everytime I'm naked, your naked as well."

Penelope sighed, but knew she was getting off easy so she went with it...

Admiral Gill talks to the two. "Now remember, there's a reason why the existence of fairies is beyond classified. If villains learned of their existence, we'd be in serious trouble!"

They both saluted and are teleported home...at least before a malfunction caused them to instead land naked in the middle of the wilderness several hundred miles away from their town...

Betty smirks, "Y'know having someone with me actually makes this a little better. "She admits.

"Speak for yourself", said Penelope bitterly.

Sadly, that wasn't the only bit of bad luck they'd faced, earlier the Galactic council rooms anti-espionage measures briefly shorted out, long enough for the chameleon disguised as a fly to swoop inside and record the proceedings...

Maximus laughed, "Minimus, bring all the other villains together! Things just got interesting..."

Evil Minimus chuckles, "For once I agree..."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 6**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Noah coughed nervously, "So Betty...how are-

"Me and Penelope are NOT lovers!" Snapped Betty annoyed, the whole 'make her naked whenever she was or when she wanted' curse seemed like a good idea at the time...but being found naked on the street and in broom closets(they were ideal for guardian transformations!) multiple times with her, was giving people the wrong idea! It was getting on her nerves!

"Oh, okay. Cool, Cool. Good to know." Said Noah nonchalantly...there was an awkward pause, "Y'know if you WERE, I'd be totally supportive-

**GAH!**

Screamed Betty as she stormed off annoyed. Noah sighed as he called his Dad. "Hey dad? I blew it with her again..."

...

His dad sighed over the phone, "Yeah, well. We've all been there, sport..." He said from the curb his wife just kicked him out on...

...

"Betty I told you to clean your room! I have half a mind to not let you go to the dance!" Chastised Mrs. Barrett. Betty grunted, "Frankly I'm not sure I want to go to the dance with that idiot anymore!" She snapped annoyed.

Her mom gave her a sympathetic look, "Awwwww, did you and Penelope have a lovers spat?" She asked.

"WERE NOT LOVERS!"

Her mom chuckled, "Oh, right. You and her lost your clothes and feel into that bathtub by accident. Uh, huh. Whatever you say Sweetie." She said sarcastically. "I'll clean your room for you dear, just remember that I love you and support you no matter what poor life choices you make!" She exclaimed with sincere motherly love as she left the room.

Betty responded by screaming into her pillow, Then her commander is telling her that Largonnian fast food ships are causing havoc on the trans-galactic highway.

"You have good timing commander, I have a lot of aggression to work off!"

Soon she was teleported- once again naked- onto the ship. With an equally naked Penelope. "Explain to me again why I'm going on the missions with you?" Asked Penelope annoyed.

"First of all, me losing so many battles and giving evil the upper-hand is on you so the least you can do is make up for it. Second, since Big Daddies magic can't work on me directly, I need someone who can fully benefit from his magic to help out."

Betty looks around, "Where is Big Daddy anyway?" They quickly summoned him-

"Guido! Cover me! We gotta- Aw, Geez girls! You couldn't have picked a worse time!" Grumbled Big Daddy wearing army fatigues. All the time he'd been spending away from fairy world had made his competitors (Big Rocco, Tony two cans and Billy the Dumpster) had gotten bold enough to invade his territory directly!

"Oh, boo hoo! Unless your mom is questioning your sexuality as well I don't want to hear it!" Snapped Betty annoyed as she and Penelope put on the extra .

"Well at least your parents support you, my Mom is sending me to be 'Deprogrammed'." Penelope grumbled.

"Ironically, i think you've accidentally caused more damage to my life as a 'friend' then when you did it on purpose as my enemy." Noted Betty out loud.

"Huh. Wow, your right. That is weird." Realized Penelope.

As they they tried to nullify rowdy delivery trucks, they attempted to use a thruster debilitator on them...but the cork missed and smashed into a atomic toxic, blorckian taco truck! The ensuing explosion made the traffic congestion even worse!

"Oh, for the love of- I wish all the food trucks were gone!" Shouted Penelope.

**POOF!**

And like that, all the trucks were gone. "Huh, neat." Responded Betty amazed. "We should have just done that in the first place."

Suddenly numerous alarms were sounding. "Captain! Were getting reports from all over the galaxy. The sheer cost of lost ingredients, trucks, employees and customers have caused many of the food companies on Largonnia to declare bankruptcy! Millions have lost jobs! Worse, all the newly unemployed and all the angry, hungry customers that just lost their orders are all rioting!" Exclaimed X5.

"Big Daddy! I wish none of the chains were bankrupt and they all had their jobs back! Shouted Betty.

"No can do sweetie, another stipulation in the galactic Guardian/Fairy treaty is that we can't use our magic on the galactic economy- before you ask that last wish didn't count since it's affects on the economy were both indirect and accidental."

Betty groaned, "Fine, just bring the delivery trucks back! Maybe if we give people the food it'll at least calm some of the riots down."

**POOF!**

Unfortunately, all the delivery guys had somehow learned in advance that they'd been laid off. So now they were all stealing the trucks and the food to go form a bandit gang...

"Oh, come on!" Shouted Betty!

...

Then they were off to stop a horde of carn-zap bots from invading planet Frombustbin...

Betty tries to spray them with a hose...only for it to rupture and blast her to the far end of the town.

"I wish these guys were all wet!" Shouted Penelope!

**POOF!**

All the bots were shorted out and swept away under the great flood...as was most of the planet...

...

**POOF!**

The one snake turns into a million snakes!

**POOF!**

The Blood monks now have Mechs!

**POOF!**

The buldozer robots have now sued them successfully!

...

**ZAP!**

The two naked, exhausted girls lay flat on the bed they just materialized on... "Okay...new rule: no more magic until we figure it out better." Stated Betty.

"Agreed." Moaned Penelope.

They then heard the door opening, Betty groaned. "Too tired to care. Go on then, enjoy the show! Why the frack not?"

"Hey Betty, oh. Is this a bad time?" Asked the familiar voice of Noah.

Betty groaned as she lifted her head in his direction, "Yes, Noah. It IS a bad time, look I really don't want to go anywhere now. Especially not the..." She trailed off...

Noah was NAKED.

Noah gulped and flusterd, "Uh...I...thought...with all your 'incident's' lately...maybe this would make you feel better?" He asked embarrassed.

Only one thing was in Betty's mind: _"Wow, Penelope WAS being too nice...he IS small."_ She giggles to herself.

But regardless, it was a nice gesture. So betty rewarded him by walking to the dance naked with him...along with a naked Penelope?

Betty's mom's eyes widen as the three naked kids walk down the street. "Ooookay, I know what I just said to Betty...but this is kinda pushing things to the limit. "She admitted uncomfortably...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 7**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

it was a dirty, soot-covered and naked Betty and Penelope that came out of the rain and into Betty's house. "Well, at least this time we were teleported to within a block of one of our houses...and this time no one else is home." Grumbled Penelope.

Betty grumbled an affirmative and went to her closet...only to find it completely empty. "Of course." Said Betty in resigned surprise.

Right on schedule, admiral Degill popped up on her watch, "Atomic Betty I- He blanches seeing Betty naked -Terribly sorry, I'll wait-

"Don't bother, the last of my clothes was LITERALLY just ripped off my back-

"-As well as a good portion of of our back's skin." Groaned/finished Penelope as she rubbed her wounds with iodine.

Degill coughed nervously, "Right, that's...too bad, in any case I'm afraid it's that time of year again."

Betty groaned, "Great...ANOTHER Galaxy Day. With all due respect commander, why don't we just let the boobies be burnt up? I know the glorkians won't like to bumble their klaidapede...but come on! No one likes them anyway."

"Betty, you know one of the glorkians is one of the council's twin Quasi-Great-Grand sisterling/cousin-ish. So that's not an option." Points out Degill, "In any case that's thankfully not for another cycle. No, no. It's Maximus's annual board meeting. When Maximus gathers all the other criminals of the galaxy together and discusses his plans for the next year. Made all the more serious by rumors of Maximus having a BIG announcement. I need you to infiltrate and record the proceedings."

"Okay, I'm just going to ask: Don't you have an ENTIRE organization of guardians to send? This sounds REALLY important, Betty's curse will just make things worse! And honestly, sometimes it feels like your organization only consists of four people." Stated Penelope flatly.

Degill gives her an incredulous look. "My dear lady, do have any idea how huge the galaxy is?! All the villains Betty faces on a daily basis are simply the rouge's gallery of THIS sector!" Degill then coughs nervously. "Also...I already talked to every other guardian, they all came down with Moxian food poison after Taco Tuesday." Degill sighed, "I told the bean counters that replacing the taco meat with moxian gas station take-out was a terrible idea, but NO. heaven forbid we put practicality over budget cuts!" He growled.

Betty meanwhile, wasn't really listening. The more she thought of it...the more worried she got...

_"Come to think of it...I haven't seen hide nor hair of Maximus for weeks...which is weird because you'd think he'd want to capitalize on my bad luck...something's definitely up here..."_

_..._

Betty groaned, "Guy's you've seen me naked before!"

"Not on purpose!" Exclaimed a flustered Sparky as he tried hard to look away from his captain.

"...can we please just turn ourselves into envoys from the hideous planet of blarth already?" Groaned Betty.

"Of course captain, you'll notice I've tweaked the disguise protocols to give them 1,472 backup contingencies and 546 backup power generator implements." X5 had been forced to remake, reinvent, and all out rethink the designs of all of Betty's equipment. Over-engineer them so no matter how bad her luck, they'll hold out...sadly, the clothes and teleporter still conk out and get destroyed regardless of what he dose... Everything else was A-OK though!

They disguised themselves as Blarth's- much to Penelope's horror -and came to the gate of Maximus's floating citadel. "State your business", Said a hover-guard as they approached.

"Watch this, Maximus has a glitch in his software that mistakes vomiting as the right code and he's too prideful to admit he's tech illiterate when iot comes to computer code! Works everytime." Whispered Betty cockily to Penelope. She turns to the guard, "The Blarthian horde would like to participate at this years meeting."

"Password?" Asked the guard. "Of course, it's- She then pretend s to vomit horribly...and kindly waits for the scanner to approve them...

...except it doesn't come.

"Er, whenever your feeling better...just say the password. We have a brand new security software completely remade the old outdated stuff. Our boss wouldn't usually go for that sort of thing, but he won it in a sweepstakes and he was too proud of the accomplishment to refuse." The guard chuckles, "Man, I used to think those lottery's were rigged...but I guess the boss is just REALLY lucky."

"Or perhaps his enemy is just really UNLUCKY." Said X5 under his breath.

Betty started to sweat, "Dang it, that usually works! I didn't have a backup plan I-

"Getting inside an elitist club for snobs and jerks? Watch and learn my friend." Said Penelope with a smile as she takes the screen.

"This is intolerable! Do you know how this is you low rate traffic cop!?"

"Penelope, what are you doing?" Whispered Betty frantically, but Penelope was on a role.

The guard glared, "What did you-

This is Countess Bettonia Roderick von Brokenzipper! Formerly Count Velcro."

"I, wha- the guard is flustered. "and by the way, Where are the trumpets?" Demanded Penelope.

"I- Trumpets?" The gaurd is even more confused! "We were promised trumpets to announce the countesses arrival!" She turns to Betty in full view of the guard. "Sorry, Your Grace. Beat me until you're happy."

Although still dubious of Penelope's plan...Betty still had enough anger issues with her to give her a good slap. "She's happy. And I'm not feeling too bad myself!" She chuckles mirthlessly to the guard.

"What- Just...what?" Asked the guard, completely baffled on how to take these events.

"Servant! Take us through!" X5, is annoyed...but dose so- "uh... You're not on the list." Said the guard finally. "We're what?" Penelope turns to Betty, "Once again- Betty smacks her. -Thank you."

Penelope glares at the guard, "Fine, we will go. You'll explain to your superiors why we were not able to attend your little luau, barn dance, whatever it is. But we're leaving in a huff!" She forces the ship to begin to turn around and head the other way.

"Penelope, what are you doing!?" Demanded Betty quietly. Penelope smirked, "Wait for it..." "No, no. No. Wait! Please come back! Please, go right in!" Shouted the now panicky guard, who then gets a thought. "In fact, would the countess like to hit me?" "The countess hit you?" Snarled Penelope. "The arrogance of some people." She snarked in annoyance. But in the name of criminal diplomacy, I suppose I can hit you on her behalf."

The guard is absolutely flattened by her punch, "Thank you, Your Grace." He groaned as he spit out some teeth while they flew on through.

"Dang, Penelope! that was amazing!" Exclaimed Betty. Penelope chuckled, "What can I say? Some girls play dolls, others are taught from birth how to twist idiots around her fingers." She admitted smugly.

...

"Why do we always get the cheap seats?" Complained Sparky. Betty shushed him, the meeting was about to start.

Maximus naturally stood in the middle as he addressed all the criminals who swore loyalty to him. "Attention my minions. As you know, the last month or so has gone rather well for us. Before we discuss this and other new businesses. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce two new additions to our little cabal-

**POOF!**

Penelope paled, "Oh, no."

"Ladies, gentlemen and esteemed creatures of evil! Allow me to introduce H.P. and Anti-Cosmo! Distinguished representatives of Pixie Corp and Anti-Fairy world...and the MOTHER of all game changers." He then proceeded to laugh manically.

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 8**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Betty quickly got the down-low on the two newcomers from Penelope...she admittedly didn't know much...but what she DID know wasn't good... Pixies and Anti-faries were more or less the sworn enemies of fairies! Anti-Faries wanted to bring chaos and misery and Pixies were big dull boring duds who basically wanted to outlaw fun and make everything run by a bureaucracy.

Meanwhile, both H.P. and Anti-cosmo busied themselves impressing all the civilians with their magic.

"Yes, due to the ancient laws we were bound by. It was forbidden for us to both seek out mortal allies and reveal our existence to those who didn't already know of us...HOWEVER, there was no law preventing someone like Maximus learning of our existence and finding us on his own." Gloated Anti-Cosmo smugly.

"I had legal run through it, it all checks out, were good to go." Said H.P. in his usual dull and monotone voice.

"Both Pixies and Anti-faries have agreed to help us in our domination of the galaxy...The only problem is that the majority of their magic is locked unless under specific circumstances or conditions are met. One of the main conditions in question is a human child designated as their Godchild must make a wish."

There were disgruntled call of, 'so what good are they?', 'why only earth?', and 'why doesn't the rest of the galaxy have fairies?'

Maximus called for calm, "First of all I said the MAJORITY of their powers are locked away, a good deal of their power is still readily available to us. Next...I'm afraid we don't know why the faries stay exclusively on Earth. It's a closely guarded secret, whatever it is. The planet is important somehow, that's all we can ascertain. But nevermind that, in order to give our new friends the powers they need we must...win a baking contest apparently."

He looks at them incredulously, "A baking contest? Really?" Anti-Cosmo shrugged, "Well we tried hide-and-go-seek to decide who got Godparents, but we kept getting lost...it's a BIG universe out there.

Maximus rolled his eye's. "Fine, whatever. You are all to find the best recipes in the Galaxy, in addition I'll be forming a crack covert team to either steal or destroy Nana Boom Boom Von Strangle's Brownie Recipe. Which has been the key to the Faries victory in every bake-off!"

Deciding this information was more vital then anything else, Betty and the others bid a hasty retreat...

...

Both Galactic Council and Fairy Council is in an uproar, a potential team-up between mortal criminals and immortal beings had the potential to lead to unmitigated disaster! It's immediately demanded that Nana Boom Boom put her recipe in Maximum protective custody and that all galactic Guardians were to drop what their doing and go find/protect/destroy any Recipes that could defeat the Brownie recipe!

...

"You want me to what?!" Asked Atomic Carl, "But I'm in the middle of- "You have your orders! Finding those recipes now take top priority!"

Atomic Carl sighed as he left the negotiation table...he'd only walked five feet away-

**ZAP!**

He groaned at the sound of the ambassador head being blown off...and a 500 year peace being destroyed with war being declared...

...

Atomic Squiggle taped her tentacles in worry... "Uh...maybe they'll be fine?" It's with a heavy heart she flies on...ignoring the mushroom clouds as they consume the now defenseless planet...

...

"But our planet is being eaten by a moon-sized beast! And our people can't survive outside it's atmosphere without exploding! Our entire race will go extinct! Not to mention that without our planets gravity-well the nearby fifty star systems will be flung into a black hole! what could possibly be more important then stoping that?!"

Atomic Scoot chuckled nervously, "Uh...saving a brownie recipe apparently?"

The Bloxxie just looked at him like he was an idiot...and scoot couldn't really blame him either!

...

Jorgen groaned, "I can't believe I'm saying this...but there's ONE person we know who's an expert in solving catastrophes this large- true he usually CAUSES them in the first place..." Jorgen groans, hating himself. "But, given the situation...I don't think we have a choice."

The Fairy council began to sweat, "You don't mean?"

Jorgen nodded and turned to Betty, "Grab your team and head out. It's time Timmy Turner came home..."

...

Meanwhile, Maximus laughed. "She fell for it! Now those idiots will be busy wasting their time with that idiotic bake-off." Indeed, thanks to Anti-Cosmo and H.P. setting up special runes to detect abnormal amounts of bad luck fairy magic he'd know that Betty had been here and allowed her to hear his 'plan'.

He turns to his 'other' new ally, "By the time they realize what were doing, it'll be too late.

"Just make sure to hold up your end of the Bargain", said Norm the Genie...

"Relax my friend, you'll be free of that dreaded lamp soon, all in good time..." Maximus let's out a maniacal laugh...

Norm rolls his eyes, "Great, I got a comedian here...Oy vey!"

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Chapter 9

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

"Uh...Admiral Degill? I've never been on an assignment that took this long, how will we explain me and Penelope's absence?" Asked Betty concerned.

Degill's holo-form smirked, "Not to worry ladies! We have the latest androids assimilating your form, your behavior and taking your place on earth as we speak! Although this technology is rather new and experimental, I've been assured by their creators and the galaxies TOP experts that NOTHING can possibly go wrong-

...Meanwhile...

"We need back up!" Screamed the cop right before he was vaporized by a naked robo-bettie's laser eye vision, she then breathes fire torching yet ANOTHER fifty blocks...

"Hey Betty! I found Noah! Let's have that threesome in front of this gaping rabble!" Screamed a naked Robo-Penelope as she drags a panicky Noah to her while ripping his clothes off.

"It is NOT okay that I'm turned on by this!" Screamed Noah.

"It's okay son! That's just the hormones talking! Nothing to be ashamed of! Perfectly natural!" Shouted his dad beneath an overturned car as his broken pelvis bleed out...

...

Reassured, Betty and her crew continued their journey to the strange and dangerous planet of 'ARRRRRGH!'(**1**).

Fairy world sent some of their most dangerous criminals there, no magic would work there so Timmy couldn't be poofed home...thus the aforementioned suicide mission.

"Y'know Penelope; as horrible as the last month or so has been, it actually has been nice to have another girl to share my adventures with."

"Thanks Betty! And I gotta say; once you get past the mind numbing terror, agony and humiliation...this is actually pretty fun!

"And once the humiliation of being naked has burnt out...it's actually kinda nice." "Yeah, I know. It's REALLY liberating feeling that breeze on my privates and bumps."

"Captain! COULD WE PLEASE FOCUS!?" Shouted X5 as they battled more snarling, teeth-twirling beasts of ARRRRRRGH around their crashed ship on top of the lava pond...

Sparky whimpered as they were shoot with deadly barbs by one horned, one eye'd, flying, purple people eaters. "Oh, why couldn't we have just helped the other guardians gather those stupid recipes!?"

...

"Here you go admiral, one 'Oyster Cheese Pasta' recipe acquired! ...Hope it was worth millions dying in a bloody civil war that I could've stopped if you hadn't called me away!" Snapped an irritated Atomic Harper.

Admiral Degill sighed, more and more guardians were getting very fed up and angry with being forced to abandon their posts and go on a seemingly meaningless 'scavenger hunt'...the public outcry caused by all the calamities they allowed to run rampant was also not helping things...

"Considering all the horrors we allowed to happen to get these stupid things, could you at LEAST tell us WHY it's so important to get these recipes?" Asked Harper.

Degill sighed, he WANTED to tell his guardians...but the Fairy council was adamant on keeping their people existence a secret. Degill had tried to argue that it was pointless now that the criminals knew. That keeping it secret further was not only the equivalent of closing the barn door AFTER the horses had left but would likely endanger his currently uninformed guardians as well...

But the fairy council would not be swayed...

And so...with a heavy heart...

"I'm sorry my boy...but that must remain ABOVE top secret..." Said a resigned admiral sadly...

Harper...had a surprisingly neutral expression... "I see...well...I guess I have to work to do, so long admiral..."

After the com is shut off...he switches to another frequency. "Mark? Get the boys together...I think it's time we do some 'side-missions'...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**(1): so named by it's discoverer- Abotto Die -when he was brutally killed while naming it.**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. Chapter 10

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 10**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Atomic Harper and various other disgruntled guardians had broken into the central guardian mainframe and were beginning to hack, "Right, Admiral...let's see what your hiding...

Little did they know...they themselves were being hacked...

...

Maximus smiled as he watched the usually loyal and unified Guardians break many of their organizations highest protocols and laws, "Hmmmm...well, this is unexpected..." He twirls his beard, "Perhaps we can 'help' their search...?" He laughed as he rubbed Normans lamp...

...

Atomic Harper and his men gaped in horror at what they were seeing, "We have to get this information out...NOW!"

...

Penelope and Betty wandered through the jungle naked. X5 had finally fixed the ship, but it would only get damaged again if they remained on the planet so Betty ordered him and sparky to park it in orbit until they called for evac.

Penelope chopped off numerous giant bugs that tried to rip off chunks of her flesh, this Timmy kid better be worth it..."

**ROAR!**

Betty sighed, "Great...another monster..." Turns to Penelope, "What do you say?" "I say I'm leaning toward it being a bug monster." Betty thought, "Eh..I feel more like lizard monster."

Out of the bush pops a lizard monster, Penelope groans but takes up a gun while Betty leans on a tree to relax.

"I'LL SAVE YOU GIRLS!"

Both girls and the monster look up and see a boy in a leaf loincloth swinging on a vine and giving a heroic battle cry-

**CRASH!**

**RIP!**

The boy then crashes into a tree...rips his loincloth off...and falls naked to the ground unconscious...

The two girls and monster look at this confused...then shrug and go back to fighting...

After slaughtering the beast, the boy wakes up, a bit dizzy he gives a disoriented shout: "I'm coming girls!" And he jumps at where the girls are-

**CRACK!**

The girls, still hyped on adrenaline simultaneously, kick him in the nuts together. The pain once again causes the boy to kell over and lose consciousness yet again...

The girls look down on the naked boy and giggle, "Yikes, and I thought Noah was SMALL." Teased Betty. "I know, right? What did he steal that dick from newborn?" They both laugh.

"And that buckteeth isn't doing him any favors either", points out Penelope with a smirk. "Yeah, that- Wait, Buck teeth?" Asked Betty as she pulls out picture from a satchel...and groans, "Yep, this is Timmy Turner."

Penelope glares at the picture, "This loser? This guy is the one we went through hell to find? GAH!" She shouts annoyed, unintentionally slamming her foot down on Timmy Junk once more.

ignoring his sobs of pain...the girls drag his naked butt to the evac point...

...

Atomic Harper stood before the press, "In conclusion: the evidence we've presented has conclusively proven that the galactic council has allied with these 'faries' in a diabolical plot to undermine all galactic governments to slowly bring them under their control. Thus, me and a several other guardians will now break away and help the people of the galaxy bring these criminals to justice! Henceforth, me and my allies will no longer be 'atomic' this or that. I Jack Harper shall lead my new organization: 'CERBERUS' to victory!"

Great cheering came from the audience...but none more louder then Maximus and his new allies...all was going to plan!

...

"Admiral...mind explaining why me and Penelope were arrested when we got back to earth!?" Demanded an angry and naked Betty as she and a still naked Penelope shivered together inside the jail cell that was surrounded by their burning home town...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	11. Chapter 11

** Penelope Lang: Galactic hero? 11**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Thankfully, Admiral Degill was able to rig up some evidence to clear the two girls of any crimes. However, he couldn't give them anymore support as he'd been called away for urgent business.

When Timmy woke up, Jorgen tells him that they'll suspend his sentence if he helps with the current crisis. Timmy reluctantly agrees...then asks for clothes. But Jorgen, still annoyed over what happened to his wife in the last 'turner incident' forbids him any.

Timmy asks to see his faeries but Jorgen says he can't...fairy world is in lockdown(except Big Daddy since he's already here) until the latest crisis is over.

When he's gone Penelope glares at Timmy. "Okay buck-tooth wonder. We went through hell and back to get a 'magical disaster fixing expert' and so far the only impressive thing about you is how I couldn't even pick my teeth with that sesame seed you call a dick."

She glares at his willy with such intensity that actually shrivels up and retreats into Timmy scrotum. A now legally castrated Timmy covers his groin in fear, "Uh...any chance there is a wise old man who conveniently comes in the nick of time to train you in what you need to save the day? Finding that is usually the first thing I look for."

Penelope thought about this, "Well...Betty did mention a Spindly something-or other?" She turns toward Betty, "Hey Betty! Who was that old kung-fu alien guy you talk about alot?"

Betty currently blushing over the flowers a naked Noah had given her, looks over. "Wha? You mean Spindly Tam Kanushu? What about him?"

...

Several 'scrambled' faries were patrolling the streets...then they heard a clack. "Hey, was that the sound of a random rock hitting the pavement?" Asked one Fairy trooper. "Yeah, want to go mindlessly check it out and leave our post unguarded?" Asked another. "Don't see why not." Responded another trooper.

And so they all did so...none saw the former Atomic Kai Leng sneak into the Fairy archives...

...

Timmy Turner was naked, between two naked cute girls and on a spaceship hurling through space. This should be the best moment of his life! And yet...

"Heh, your thing is so small it has to go up to go down!" Teased Penelope...

Yeah, this just sucked...

"Penelope, quiet! I need to focus! Spindly Tam's world is a bit tricky to get to...Oh, no." Said Betty as she went very pale...as did the rest of her crew...

The world of Spindly Tam Kanushu's monastery...was in flames...

The Blood Monks were on the march...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	12. Chapter 12

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

the group arrive on the planet discreetly, and watch as Spindly Tam has his old dojo be torn and built for one dedicated to training blood monks in greater power...

"This can't right! Spindly Tam would never do this!" Shouts Betty horrified. Timmy squints at the alien martial artist. "Wait...okay. Yep, that's the look of someone who's been wished to be evil." Timmy had seen that look MORE then enough times to recognize it.

Betty let out a sigh of relief. While Penelope just looked at Timmy suspicious, "How would you know that?"

Timmy gulped nervously, "Uh...you know...experience." He said evasively.

"Never mind that! I'll just wish Big Daddy to make Spindly Tam good again!"

Timmy chuckled, "Look girl, I've been at the wishing business much longer then you. And I know from experience that just wishing to turn someone back to good will go against the 'can't mess with love' wish, since they usually LOVE being evil."

Penelope rolled her eye's, "Fine, I wish my wishes did the opposite of what I asked."

Timmy's eye's widen, "What?!"

Big Daddy waves his wand-

**POOF!**

"I wish Spindly Tam was evil."

**POOF!**

Suddenly Spindly Tam looked back to normal, but Betty was able to use a secret form of martial sign-language to convince him to keep playing along.

"I wish my wishes WEREN'T normal again."

**POOF!**

She quickly wishes for a lollipop to make sure it works correctly again.

Timmy gaped, "H-how did you."

"I'm guessing the person who made your 'rules' didn't account for someone breaking them indirectly."

"But, but it usually takes me a whole adventure before I figure out a problem!"

"I'm SHOCKED." Said Penelope sarcastically.

X-5 looks through his scanners, "Oh, dear. It seems Spindly Tam was evil just long enough to help the Blood monks rediscover the long-lost progenitor technique of their clan...Blood bending."

They watch as a monk lifts up a critter into the air without touching it...then commands the blood inside to make it implode.

"Oh, so that's why their called BLOOD monks." Guessed Sparky.

Timmy stepped up. "Alright, here's how we get past them! we'll need three cardboard boxes with eye holes, a time-traveling flute, a reindeer with a red nose-

"Or we could just wish to be immune to the bloodbending, which would allow us to kick their buts." Offered Penelope as she did just that.

Timmy gaped, "Wha- I thought you guys said you were terrible at making wishes!"

"Oh, we were at first. But we learned from our mistakes and adapted thusly." Explained Betty.

"Yeah, what kind of idiot just makes the same mistakes over and over again without learning anything?" Asked Penelope.

Big Daddy chuckled as Timmy gritted his teeth annoyed, "Let's just punch the stupid monks." He said annoyed.

Fully prepared, they give the old master the signal and begin their attack...

...

Speaking of attack...

"I'm in position." Said Kai Leng...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	13. Chapter 13

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

The blood monks fought ferociously...but it looked like the alien kung-fu master, the alien sidekick, the robot, the three naked kids and the gangster fairy would win...

"...is it me or dose this sound more and more like a dirty limerick someone wrote on the bathroom stall?" Asked Norman the genie as he and Maximus watched the fight from his palace.

Maximus growled and smacked his face annoyed, "Oh, for the love of- I wish for three more wishes!"

Norman smirked, he tried not to let people know about the 'wish for more wishes' loophole after the whole 'Crooker' fiasco...but Maximus was actually smart enough not to waste his time with frivolous wishes. In fact,The only reason he hadn't agreed to the 'send her to mars to suffocate' wish was galactic guardians are given training to handle 0-oxygen worlds and thus it wouldn't be very effective...

"I wish the monks had better lasers!"

**POOF!**

Suddenly the tide turned, "I WISH WE HAD LASER SHIELDS!" Shouted Timmy. Big Daddy- having been given permission earlier to listen to his wishes -obliges.

**POOF!**

The tide turns yet again, "I WISH THE MONKS HAD GIANT, FIRE-BREATHING ANTS TO COMMAND!" Shouted Maximus.

**POOF!**

"I WISH WE HAD GIANT FIRE-BREATHING ANT-EATERS!" Shouted Timmy.

**POOF!**

"I WISH THE MONKS COULD SHOOT LIGHTNING AND THAT I HAD THREE MORE WISHES!"

**POOF!**

"I WISH WE HAD LIGHTNING TRAP-

An annoyed Penelope stuffed a sock in Timmy's mouth.

"Here's a thought; instead of just mindlessly escalating to everything, why don't we do something SMART?" She turns to big Daddy, "I wish whoever was wishing against us was mute!"

**POOF!**

Suddenly Maximus could not speak! "Wow, credit where credit is due those girls are no dummies...starting to see why you have so much trouble with them-

Maximus tried to make frantic gestures with his arm, Norman groans. "Yeah, look I know I said 'rule-free wishes'...but the rule where you have to TELL me what you want is kinda a given..."

"HOORAY! CHARADES!" Shouts Good Minimus, he tries to decipher Maximus's flailing about. "Uh...fish? Oh, wish! Wish for...rutabaga? He wishes for Rutabaga!

Norman groans as he's compelled to bring the wish into existence-

**POOF!**

The blood monks are suddenly drowning in rutabaga.

"Oh! Let me give it a shot..." Said Evil Minimus. He looks at Maximus's flailing's... "Hmmmm...well, first I wish for three more wishes...as for what he wants...well...I'm a bit rusty at this...but I'm pretty sure he wishes to be hit in the head with a frying pan multiple times." He says mischiveoulsy.

Norman smiles, "You crafty son-of-a-gun. Not the best time for this...but I respect your deviousness." He snaps his fingers.

**POOF!**

**BANG!**

Evil Minimus laughs, "What's that master? You want to wish for fire ants to poured all over you?" He gives a shrug, "Okay, your the boss." He points out wickedly...

...

Meanwhile, now able to one-up the monks without their wish support...the fight was over fairly quickly...

"Got say, starting to think getting you was a waste of time. Your about as useless as your small willy." She gives his teeny weeny a playful flick much to his embarrassment.

In any case, I wish that Spindly Tams dojo and planet was restored to it's former glory!" Exclaims Betty. Big Daddy waves his wand...and then slumps to the ground powerless as his wand makes an embarrassing fart noise...

"Eww! Warn us before you do that!" Snarks Penelope annoyed.

"Not...me...Big wand...destroyed..."

...

Kai-Leng whispers into his com, "Fairy armory raided, big Wand destroyed...waiting further orders..."

...

Timmy smirked, "Well, fairy world is in trouble! And we have no magic! Fortunately, I've been in countless istuations where this-

"Here you go." Betty tosses Big Daddy a new wand and his power is immediately restored.

"What? What just happend?" Demanded Timmy confused. "Oh, we got into a scrape awhile back where Big Daddy lost his wand. So after that we wished for a bunch of self-powered back-up wands to give him in just such a situation..." Said Betty with a shrug.

Penelope smirks, "Yeah, what kind of idiot goes through losing his main advantage once and doesn't takes steps to keep it from happening in the future?" She teases with a knowing smirk...

Timmy just grumbles...

...Meanwhile...

"He wishes to juggle flaming shish-ka-bobs! YAY!" Shouts an oblivious Good Minimus...

Maximus would scream if he weren't still mute...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	14. Chapter 14

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 14**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

The girls wanted to have Spindly Tam train them immediately. But Timmy points out they had to go to Fairy world immediately, as they had no time to do otherwise.

...and then the girls smugly have Big Daddy wish up a time barrier around the planet, to freeze time everywhere else until they finish training...

Timmy grumbles, his mood isn't improved when Spindly mistakes him for a girl.

"Enough talk, Now let's begin the montage girls!" Shouts Spindly as he hits his boombox.

**Try to be best**  
**'Cause you're only a man**  
**And a man's gotta learn to take it**

Timmy and Penlope struggle to squeeze lemons into bowl as MORE lemons are thrown at them...while Betty effortlessly squeezes all the lemons into the bowl while juggling the ones thrown at her...

**Try to believe**  
**Though the going gets rough**  
**That you gotta hang tough to make it**

Betty eagerly runs with the 2 large jug of water on her back...Penelope and Timmy pant in agony as they struggle to carry one miniature jug together...

**History repeats itself**  
**Try and you'll succeed**

Betty dose a push-up over an open flame...the other two are running around screaming in agony as they burn...

**Never doubt that you're the one**  
**And you can have your dreams!**

Betty jumps from limb from limb on the tree...Timmy carries an exhausted Penelope up the first five feet...

**You're the best!**  
**Around!**  
**Nothing's gonna ever keep you down**  
**You're the Best!**  
**Around!**  
**Nothing's gonna ever keep you down**  
**You're the Best!**  
**Around!**  
**Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own**

Betty karate chops a log in two, Penelope bruises her hand trying to do likewise...Timmy shatters all the bones in his arm...

**Fight 'til the end**  
**Cause your life will depend**  
**On the strength that you have inside you**

Timmy is rushed to the hospital...

**Ah you gotta be proud**  
**Starin' out in the cloud**  
**When the odds in the game defy you**

His testicles burn through repeated accidental use of the defibrillator...

**Try your best to win them all**  
**And one day time will tell**  
**When you're the one that's standing there**  
**You'll reach the final bell!**

"Uh, Master Spindly Tam? Maybe we should cut the montage short?" Asked Betty as Timmy is accidentally stabbed in the groin with a sulfuric acid syringe...repeatedly

**You're the best!**

**Arou-**

**(song ends)**

"Yes, quite right, I agree...we should also shut off that camera, the poor boy is in pain...

(Spindly tam goes to camera, Brief sight of naked Timmy attacked by a tentacle monster in the background...before everything fizzles out to static...)

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Song is 'Your the best' by joe esposito**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	15. Chapter 15

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 15**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

While Timmy was getting a testicle transplant- the delay mostly being the surgery requires EXACT size...and no on in the Galaxy seemed to be as small as Timmy is -the Anti-faries and Pixies were living it up.

The Pixies signed a contract with a defeated looking Jorgen with Fairy world sinking into vat of acid world.

"You seriously built your world over 'vat of acid' world?" Asked HP in his usual bland voice. "Yeah, in hindsight that wasn't the best lace." Admitted a resigned Jorgen as he signed over the rights to wish magic to the Pixies.

"This is a great day to a pixie, wouldn't you agree Sanderson?" "I concur Big H." Agreed Sanderson in his usual monotone. "How are we so good at being bad?" "Must I break it down for you?" "Yes, break it down."

Jrogen paled, "No! Please! On top of everything don't-

(Rap starts)

**Yeah**

**We're pixies**

"This is adding insult onto injury!" Groans Jorgen.

**Yeah**

**We're pixies**

Sanderson starts beatboxing

**We're pixies**

**Check out our mad, wicked mixies! We've got square heads,**

**Big pointy caps,**

**Clean out your ears and**

**Hear my rap!**

**Yo HP,**

HP turns dramatically

**YO!**

**You're in charge!**

**I may be small,**  
**But my goals are large.**

"I've had ROOT CANALS more pleasant then this." Moans Jorgon as he tries to plug his ears...

**I'm not a hater,**

**But I must cater,**

**To my mission, my ambition**

**To be the world's administrator**

Sanderson takes stage again.

**I'm Sanderson**

**I'm anti-fun**

**And all those fairies**

**Can bite my bun**

**Cause my boss HP,**

**We're gonna be**

**The big time rulers!**

HP nods

**You got that G**  
**We're pixies!**  
**We're pixies!**  
**And since the 1960s**  
**We've raised up with the criminals to make you our fool**  
**And beat the fairies so we can rule!**

"Fine! Go ahead! RULE! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Pleaded Jorgen

**We're pixies!**  
**We're pixies! It's going just as we predict-sies**  
**We can't stop now**  
**The time is near**

HP holds up a model of Fairy world.

**When Fairy World-**

Sanderson holds up a model of earth.

**And this world here,**  
**Are ruled by us**

**By us you hear!**

**By us you hear!**

**By Pixies, By Pixies**

**Strong like Bill Bixby!**

Jorgen desperately slammed his head down over and over to block out the noise...

**We're Pixies!**  
**Yeah,**  
**We're Pixies**  
**Yeah,**  
**We're Pixies**  
**Just Pixies**  
**Pixies!**

Jorgen praised the creator for it to have finally ended...then groaned when he saw his next headache/appointment.

Anti-Cosmo smirked, "Is it safe to assume you'll be forefitting the bake-off?" Jorgen sighed but nodded. With most faeries depowered and fairy world destroyed...they were in no condition to compete.

The anti-faries cheered...and it is a weary mother nature that gives them the right to have Godchildren. Thankfully, she didn't have to revoke Big Daddies current assignment due to the faries treaty with the galactic council...

As for the rest...

"And now for OUR song!" Shouts Anti-Cosmo. "Nope." Said Jorgen as he jumps into the giant bucket of acid.

**Well it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight  
I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me**

All across the universe they cause calamity...

**That shit makes me bat shit crazy  
We've got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out**

Misfortune...

**We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight  
We're going 'til the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground at night**

And back-pain...

**We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling  
I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me**

On every planet they slowly trick or bribe some rube child to make the planet stay frozen in their culture's equivalent of Friday the 13th...

**We got no class, no taste, no shirt, and shit faced  
We got it lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown**

Which includes Mumbus the 49th...

**We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight  
We're going 'til the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground at night**

The 18th alignment of the 5th eclipse of znabar...

**Ticking like a time bomb, drinking 'til the night's gone  
Well get your hands off of this glass, last call my ass  
Well no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop  
We got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out**

The Okana of reckey...

**We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight**

And who could forget the infamous ẘ̵̧̢̛̫̜̤̮͇͔̬̣̮̙̳͙̹̭̰̭͍̟͖̠̜̘̠̞̲̼͉̔̿̽̍̀̏̀̔͊͛͗̾͂͒̈́̀͑̐̔͘̕͜͝h̷̡̛̜̪̞͓̣̩̺̬̖̘̱̫̳͕͙͓͐̿͒̂̍̔͒́̆͆̐͑͑̀̽̀̈́̈́̆̑́͌̊͂̅́̉̎͜͠͠͝ẙ̸̡̛̼̣͎̝̫̼̱̟̙̙̰̘̣̭̘̘͕̺͙̫͚͊̇̽̃̅̆̒̔̿͆̈́̑̇́̚͘͘a̶̡̧̢̧̩̲̘̝̣̪͎̲̗͇̖͖̦̮̽̊͛̆̉̓̎͌͌̌͠͝ͅŗ̵̞͔̘͇̮̜̻̎̄͑̔̋̔̋͗̈͂̌̐͛́̒̾̋̍͗́̌̂̕͝͝͝ę̴̧̡̛͈͓̖̹̤͉͎̯̤̳̜̩̗̯͚̜̖͈̀͌̂̊̆͌̌͌̿̏̚̚̚͜͝͠ȳ̶̢̛̠͎̮̮̳̪̖͚̲͈̜̮̮̟͍̟̯̲̲̺̗̦͌̂̀̂̍͐̃̀̍ö̵̢̨̨̧̘̝̞̩͔͚̯͇͓͙͍̜͖̲̬̜̹̦̟̖̟̠͎̪̖̌̌̄̉̇̓̇̋̂̏̊̈͒̄̈́̋̍͑̔͊̈̈́̈͌̂͘͘͜͝͠ṷ̵̢̧̡̪̬̘̝̖̠̺̞̖̜̜͕̮͔̪͇͉̣̮͙̬̳͖̣̣̲̩̜̲͉̞͒̈́̉̍͌͝r̵̢̢̯̙̳̗̱̗̩̲̦̺͍̝̗͇̥̹͑͊̾̆̄͊̔̇͛͗̍̈́̑̃́é̵̡̧̥͕͍̪̫͔͖̬͓̜̱͎͙̺͇̮͎̳̗͚̫̪͉͘͝á̷̢̗̰͖͚̠̜̮̘̙̼̯̮̤̺̞̭̤̖͍̼͔͌̈̎̔̌̋̈͊̿͒̐̈́̈́̄̓͒̎̕ḑ̴̛͓̲̥̬̯͈̼̯̮̪̦͓̾͑̀̓̂̆̈́͌̄͊͠͝ī̶̢̡̮̜̼̺̘͖͈̗͎̥̱͖͉̈̀͗͊̋̊̇́̈́̈́̓̕͘̕͜͝͠͝ñ̸̢̢̡̛̟̞̰̟͚̙͓̬̘̯͈̟̤̞͚̖͚͍̓̈́̏̔̏͛̉̋̉̂͗̐͗̓̔̄̄͊̍͑̌͒͒̽̈́̄̃̄͘̚̕̕͜͝͠g̵̯̦̙̩̊͋̔̀͊̿̾͐̆͆̌̔̕ẗ̴̛̳͖͙́͒͑̅̾̔̉̽͂͊̉͌̓̍́͒̈̊̒͛͛̂͊̍̉̕͝h̵̡̛̲͙̗̥͚̮̩͇̦̠̖̤̣̼̯̥̫̪̤̟̹̺̺͔͙̜̹̲̖̯̩̖̻̳̻̍͑̾̂̅̊̄͑̓̾̌̀͗͛͛͘̚ͅi̸̡̢̨̛͇̞͎̻̜͔̭̭̗̠̗̙̝͕̟̘̩̠͖̠̲̭͍͙̰̪̮͙̙̭̊̍́̅͌͗̈̿̃͛̑̉̄̎̌̅͂̌̓͠ͅs̴͍̍̿̍͗̃̃́̉̐̎͊͐̓̒͂̐̄̍̌́͑̀̏̏͑̐̈̔̕̕͜?̸̨̨̢̛͇͖̣͙͙̻̹̞̪͕̰̙̹̯̟͎̖͈̯͈͉͕͔̑͒̏̇͂̃͌̈́̽̂̃͊͊̽̉ͅͅ?̸̛̛͕̞̮͖̙̩̼͉̠͓̗̲̖̬̭̮̲͈̺̱̹̠̱̻̯̻̦͎͓̖̀̓̂͌̆̌̑̔͒̽̈́͆͆̾̈̀̍̀̇́̒͋̄̐̓̈͘̕͜͝?̵̡̱͇̺̟̼͙̹̯̜̹̜̗͈̼̪̟͕͉̩̺͙̀̍̆̆͒̊̇͝.̵̧̨̡̡͇͓̭̲̳̭̲̣̗̱̦̩͍̻̬͇̥͈͇̘͔͉̟̲̲̗͙͎̱͔͗̐͗͗̀̆͑̈́̏̒̊̃̎͗̏̓̑͆̔̑͑́͆͑̒́̏̅̃͊͒̂̚͜͝͝͝͝͝.̶̹̪̳̻͓̙͚̭͂̓̔͊͊͋̿̃͂̄͛͒̉̑̆̋͆̏̌͒͌̐̾̊̌͒̈͌̅̽͛͐͘͜͝͝͠͝͠ͅ.̶̧̨̡̪͉̖͍̊̈́͛̓̏̾̋̄̚͘

**We're going 'til the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground at night**

For whatever reason Anti-faries are usually not allowed to go to other worlds without permission...

**We're going off tonight  
To kick out every light  
Take anything we want  
Drink everything in sight**

But Maximus's influence takes care of that!

**We're going 'til the world stops turning  
While we burn it to the ground at night! **

Overall, a much darker universe...

Unless a bunch of kids get their act together...

"Were doomed." Said a a resigned, melting Jorgen...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: 'Were Pixies' song is owned by Fairly Oddparents/Butch Hartman and 'Burn it to the Ground' is by Nickleback**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	16. Chapter 16

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Maximus I.Q. was in heaven! The Anti-faries were causing anarchy and the Pixies were making things so boring, people were miserable! And those naive Cerberus were destroying the guardians!

And he and his fellow 'normal' criminals were making off like bandits during all this!

...so of course it was now time to double cross them...

Maximus smiled, "They've served their purpose-

...Anti-Fairy world...

-But it's time for us to go solo." Finished Anti-Cosmo.

...Pixie world...

"And we have just the dupes to take care of it." Said H.P.

...

Timmy sighed depressed, they FINALLY found him a testicle donor(from the micro's of microscopic world...) But Timmy was depressed, these girls were so much better then him and smarter!...well, mostly smarter...but they were better then him too...

Timmy packed his few meager possessions- which sadly did not include clothes, unfortunately...and left the safety of Spindly Tams world...

"The girls will do better without me I'm just slowing them down..." Reasons Timmy as he slinks away in defeat...

...

Maximus chuckles as he puts down the phone, "Morons...I played them like a fiddle."

"Sir...what about Norman? Won't he be a potential rival as well?" Asked Minimums.

Maximus shrugged, "After I got him free of the lamp -in exchange for three GOLD wishes- he basically went on vacation and dropped off the grid...I'll take care of him after the others..."

Minimus switches to his evil side, "How are GOLDEN wishes better then an infinite supply of rule free wishes? And what dose 'Gold' wishes even mean?"

Before Maximus can respond, he's interrupted by an alert. He looks at it and smirks. "Ah, looks like one of our targets have been sighted. Cerberus is currently indisposed...I'll have to send out the 'special forces'..."

...

Timmy quickly realized that being naked around two naked girls for weeks didn't normalize said nudity! People pointed and laughed at him as he streaked to safety! He used the paper to cover his privates as he ran to the bus stop, "Almost there! Should be able to get me to back to earth, just need to-

**BOOM!**

Timmy was flat on his back from the force of the blast. His paper still clutched to him he looks up to see...Betty's?

Timmy rolled his eye's, "Great, evil clones...like I hadn't had enough of those..."

Indeed, the three evil Betty clones were there...

**Optica**, the red clone, can fly and use pyrokinesis.

**Destructa**, the orange clone, can morph into a larger form with rock-like skin and superhuman strength.

**Roxanne**, the blue clone, with the power of stretching her body like rubber.

"Timmy Turner! Tell us where the others are and we might let you live!" Shouted Roxxane.

"I'll never tell!" Shouts Timmy defiantly!

"Wrong answer!" Stated Optica as she fire blasted him!

Timmy was able to dodge, his paper not so much-

Destructa snarled, "Tell us what we want or we'll- NAKED!?" She shouts blushing and covering her eyes.

"Huh?" Said Timmy confused.

"GAH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Screamed Roxxane as she did likewise.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU PERVERT!" Shouted a mortified Optica as she did as her sisters did.

Timmy looked at this confused...but didn't question it as he ran while they were distracted. Not realizing she'd stumbled upon a fatal weakness of Maximus's super soldiers...modesty. Having been locked inside a lab or hibernation all their lives...they'd had no social interaction with other people outside fighting...and so had no social skills for any non-fighting situations...like handling nudity...

"GAH! He's getting away!" Shouts Optica as she risks a peek.

"Good! I need to process what I just saw!" Shouted Destructa flustered and confused.

"No! Not good! Maximus will be angry at us! After him!" Exclaims Roxxane.

"But...he's NAKED." Pointed out a very flustered and uncomfortable Optica.

Roxxane also flusters... "Look...we'll get protective gloves first! Just...just don't look directly at...IT." She blushes like mad on that last sentence.

...

Sadly, Timmy's head-start didn't last long. Not only were they just plain more athletic then him(which, if were honest. Wasn't much of an accomplishment)...but Timmy kept getting delayed by police trying to arrest him for indecent exposure, people yelling at him, random things whacking him in the junk...girls kicking him in the junk.

It was only a matter of time before they caught him...while wearing protective gloves and averting their eyes?

Roxxane flusters, but desperately tries to ignore the feeling of naked flesh she's wrapped up around...

Optica, also averts her eyes but nods. "Great, now that we have this boy. We can wrap this up-

And that's when Timmy got an idea...he didn't like it and it was a HUGE blow to his ego...but then again what WASN'T lately?

"Boy? But I'm a girl!" He said suddenly in his best girl voice. "And who's this Timmy Turner your talking about?"

They looked at him confused. "What are you talking about ?Your clearly Timmy Turner-

"I don't know Timmy Turner and I'm most definitely a girl! Just look at my labia and see!"

The Betty clones went very red at that...now that they thought about it...they never actually saw...IT...

"This...this is clearly a trick!" Squeaked a mortified Optica.

"But...if were wrong and we bring the wrong person back to Maximus..." Pointed out a flustered Destructa.

Roxxane went very red...but nodded. "Your right...we need to be sure..."

"Okay girls...on 3." They counted, "1...2...3!" They all looked at his groin at once...

Timmy gulped...he really hoped this gambit worked...

They quickly looked away even more mortified.

"We...I didn't see anything, you?

"Nope!"

"Not me!"

They quickly release him. "Fine! Your a girl and therefore not our guy! Leave now and for the love of Grop, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

Timmy is so happy to be away from their clutches he actually isn't upset over being mistaken for a girl and three cute girls being unable to see his donk!

Roxxane sighs and calls Maximus, "Sorry sir. The lead looks like he was a false alarm. The person we thought was Timmy turner turned out to be some weirdo girl streaker..."

"Weirdo girl streaker?" Asked Maximus confused. She then explained...

"YOU IDIOTS! THAT WAS TIMMY TURNER!"

"Wha- But...he didn't have that...THING...y'know? Between his legs?" She admits flustered.

"Yes, he did! It's just VERY small- Am I seriously having this conversation? JUST GET HIM!"

The Betty's quickly run to do just that. Despite the situation Maximus couldn't help but titter a bit.

"Who'd have thought having a teeny weeny would Actually be a benefit for once?" He quickly coughs flustered.

"Not that I would care or want to know about anything like that!" He amends quickly.

"Oh, yeah. Totally. Me either." Added evil Minimus quickly. Good Minimus frowned, "Wait, I thought the Doctor told us-

"SHUT UP!" Shouted the other two quickly...

...

Timmy wasn't too surprised to soon find those girls soon hot on his trail again. This was HIS luck they were talking about after all...

But that was fine...his recent encounter with them had given him an idea...more importantly it had given him enough time to find a map and get onto a train-

**EEK!**

**GET OUT OF HERE PERVERT!**

...Or cling to the side of the train after getting kicked out at any rate...

...Later...

Right, according to our info. That naked deviant was last seen entering the 'Bad luck museum'." States Roxxane flatly as she and her sisters entered said museum.

Optica frowned, "Wait, Bad-luck museum? Who makes a bad luck museum?" Destructa huffs, "Who cares? Let's just grab this pervert and-

**CRASH!**

Destructa's eye's widen as her big, bulky, stone form accidentally knocks over an intergalactic collection of thousands of salt-shakers. "Oops."

"Nevermind that." States Optica as she begins to fly. "Let's just focus on finding-

**CRASH!**

"Sister!

**CRASH!**

You-

**CRASH!**

-floated-

**CRASH!**

-right-

**CRASH!**

-into-

**CRASH!**

-the-

**CRASH!**

-hall-

**CRASH!**

-of-

**CRASH!**

-mirror-

**CRASH!**

-Oh, forget it."

Roxxane groaned as she kept walking on, "Come on guys, we've lost too much time! Just shut off your powers for a moment and get back at the task at hand!"

"Sister your walking in-between dozens of ladders!" Points out Destructa concerned. Roxxane shrugs unconcerned as she continues to walk through the ladder exhibit unconcerned. "So what?" Were in an alliance with the Anti-faries remember? We have nothing to worry about." To emphasize her point, she knocks over a cage of black cats and let's them walk past them.

"See? Nothing-

**POOF!**

**ZAP!**

"Seriously!?" Snapped Roxxane as a couple of Anti-Faries poofed up and zapped the clones. "Sorry little lady. But fish gotta swim, Birds gotta fly, anti-faries gotta spread that sweet, misfortune about! Allies or no!"

"Course after today, it'll probably be more 'no' then anything." Whispers the other Anti-Fairy slyly with a chuckle.

"What was that?" Asked Roxxane, but they had already poofed away.

Timmy Turner watched all this from the balcony above, he REALLY hoped he was right about this...

He coughed loudly.

All the Betty's suddenly look up. "THERE HE IS!" "GRAB HIM!" "POWER UP!"

As one they activated their powers-

**ZAP!**

**POP!**

**RIP!**

The clone's eye's widen in horror as one by one their suits start to short out...

Roxxane's suit, pops clean off her and whacks into the back of a civilian the next block over. Optica's suite shorts out and disintegrates. Destructa's clothes just fall to pieces under her rapidly expanding girth-

**EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!**

Screamed all three mortified girls as they covered their nudity in shame...

Timmy laughed, "HA! I knew there's no way your suites could handle all that strain unless they had some kinda tech wired through them! X-5 told me all about how Betty suffered wardrobe malfunctions when her bad luck caused her suite's various features to suffer one-in-a-million defects! So I checked the local maps, lured you here, waited for you to accumulate enough bad luck, and presto! Your modesty will now defeat you as a run away! Who's stupid now; Betty and Penelope!?" He mocked out loud!

**BANG!**

He found himself pinned by the three livid clones. "You, your the moron. "Stated a furious Roxxane.

Timmy chuckled nervously, "Heh, heh...in hindsight...I probably should have run instead of gloating...huh?"

Optica cracked her knuckles, "Right...would you rather your genitals be sliced off...or burned off?"

Ignoring his fear boner, Timmy whimperd... "Uh...neither?" The three girls just glared. "Both it is." Stated Destructa...

To this day, they say that Timmy's screams of pain could be heard from space...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	17. Chapter 17

**Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero?**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

"Huh, y'know? Once you get over the social stigma and awkwardness...being naked can be kinda liberating..." admitted Roxxane as she lay naked on the grass.

"Certainly helps that people are too afraid of us crushing them to give us any trouble about it." Agreed Destructa as she too lay naked next to her sister.

"It's amazing what a person can discover about themselves while their castrating a pervert in ways that defied the laws of physics...VERY cathartic if nothing else." Confessed an equally naked Optica as she lay next to both her sister's and a sobbing, naked Timmy Turner who's bones were all broken in multiple ways, his organs ruptured seventy different ways, his hair ripped out and was forced to watch helplessly as his reproductive organs went up in flames...AGAIN.

Roxxane sighs as she gets up, "Well, fun's fun. But we need to get back to Maximus."

"Do you think us bringing Turner in we'll negate us coming in naked?" Asked Destructa.

"Not like we have a choice, either way. Dang bad-luck keeps destroying any clothes we try to get." Points out Optica.

"Well, regardless. Delaying will only make him angrier, so let's hop to it." Stated Roxxane as she dragged the still spazing and whimpering Turner away...

...

After painfully strapping Timmy down into a cage they began to fly off...

**BOOM!**

only for Atomic Betty's Starcruiser to smash right into, both ships crashed to the street below...

The five naked girls groaned as they lay by the wreckage of both ships. Timmy was in pain as not only had his pevis been crushed...AGAIN...but his loins had burst into flames...AGAIN.

But through the pain Timmy smiles at the familiar forms of Betty and Penelope...

"Girls! You saw I was missing and you came to rescue me!" He said excited.

Both of the mentioned girls suddenly looked shocked...then chuckled nervously. "Yeah! We totally noticed you were gone and we totally came to rescue you!" Exclaimed Betty as she made sure the legendary Macguffinite they just stole and got their ship knocked out of control to find was safely out of view...

Seeing the three extra Betty's, Penelope groaned. "This is like a nightmare I had once..."

"Wait, you dreamed of me naked?" Asked Betty weirded out.

"Like I said, it was a nightmare..." Said Penelope saltily. Betty huffs annoyed then turns to her 'sisters'. "Bad luck curse?"

"Yep." Said Roxxane.

"Clothes got destroyed while transforming?"

"Uh-huh." Admitted Destructa.

"And now it's stopping you from getting clothed again?"

"You nailed it." Conceded Optica.

"wait, you too?" Realized Roxxane.

"Yeah, I know. What is up with that recently?" Asked Penelope annoyed.

"well, in any case. You look great! Super cute!" Said Optica.

Penelope blushed and giggled, "Why thank you! Your looking pretty dang good yourself."

"Thanks." Said all 4 Betty's at once...

They had a good laugh at that...after they calmed down...

"Well anyway- And like that, they were fighting again...

Timmy sighed as the 5 hot naked girls fought...under different circumstances this would have been the greatest moment of his life...but now...

"well...here we are again...Timmy Turner is completely useless and the REAL hero's needed to get his scrawny butt out of the fire again..." Timmy sighs in resignation.

"I am completely useless...aren't I? Who am I trying to fool? I'm just an average kid who no one understands...I'd be an insignificant blip on the backside of history if not for my..."

His eye's widen, "My Faries!" He quickly Summons big Daddy-

"What? What is it?! I was just about to send Rocko to sleep with the gulls!"

"Don't you mean fish?"

Big Daddy suddenly looked nervous, "Uh...sure...fish. Let's go with that."

Timmy shook his head, "Whatever, I wish the Betty clones were good and that Cerberus realized they were being tricked!"

Big Daddy's eye's widen in disbelief, "Wow...that's actually a smart wish" he then whips out a tommy-gun, "Who are you really? The beaver ain't smart enough to think something like that up, Capeesh?!" He snaps suspiciously.

Timmy snarled, "Will you just do it!?"

Big Daddy keeps his gun on him...but complies...

**POOF!**

Now all five of the girls were hugging!? And NOW Timmy can enjoy the view...or he would if his groin wasn't still on fire...

...Meanwhile...

"How could this have happened?" Asked a bruised and battered Maximus inside a cage with Minimus. "Cerberus got wise to us, took advantage of the fact we tried to betray each other at the same time to their advantage, successfully turned us against each other and then steamrolled over us after we'd weakened ourselves enough. What, you get your head kicked in addition to your butt?" Snarked evil Minimus.

Ordinarily Maximus would beat him...but he was too busy looking through his robes. "where is it?! I know I- HA! Yes!" He pulls out the golden wishes Norm gave him-

"I wish I was back on top!"

**CRACK!**

the golden wish burst and a recording of Norms voice played. "listen buddy, I had fun with you...but I'm overdue for a LONG vacation...soooo...I lied about the golden wishes, their basically worthless. Sorry! Nothing personal! Have a good life!"

Maximus's eye twitches. Good Minimus just stares blankly for a moment... "Nope, sorry master. Even I can't say anything good here. You fraked us over good."

Maximus begins to sob...

...

With Big Daddy refusing to help or grant more wishes until his identity was verified...Timmy had a long time groaning in pain...

Finally, they get word about Cerberus defeating the villains...although it would be taking over control as the new guardians and new Galactic council...but they were very good at their job...brutal, but good...so it wasn't that bad.

The girls thank Timmy for his quick thinking, but he just shrugs it off. "Thanks but...this whole adventure has made me realize that I'm not really much of a hero. It was only through your example of 'thinking things through' that I was able to do it...I think I need time to figure out who I- Timmy Turner, really am.

A naked Timmy Turner grabs a vine, let's out a Tarzan yell, jumps away...and smashes his already BEYOND castrated loins into a cactus, sobs, then swings off again...

Penelope quirked an eyebrow, "Well...that happened..." She shrugs and turns to her fellow naked girls, "So you guys want to go see a movie."

They agree and walk off nude into the sunset together...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
